I can't fucking sleep.

I'd die without music.

.........You would have never  ran away, right?

oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. 

Hi. -heart.-

 

Whew. Okay. Wow. What. The. Fuck.


 I hear it all the time. "Wow, you're beautiful." 

That's a lie.
 
I hear that I have a great personality.

That's also a lie.

People lie.

'cause if that was true, i wouldn't have been rejected six times now, would have I? Goddamn liars. 

I feel used. Hurt. Thanks. 

I thought it would be safer, but I guess not. I feel so empty. what the hell? I wish someone would tell me what i'm doing wrong. 

So, I'm liked, right? I like the person back. Okay, great. what do we do? We stare at each other? Mess around? Do nothing? Go out? Yeah, i think that might be a good idea. :D 

Yeah. Fuck. No. 

Reeeejection.


Why can't someone want to be with me? What's wrong here? I thought i could numb out the pain, but i was kind of surprized, and blown away and really, really hurt. 

I'll be okay again.  My lights are flickering. Think it's some sort of sign? Why am I so stupid? 


What I hate most is that all my security with him is gone. He's trying to proctect himself. And even if it wasn't a direction rejection, the fact that he couldn't take it at first, was enough to make me skitter away. I'm so confused. and hurt. Is this all i'm worth? 

How could I ever think that i'm dateable?

HeartheartheartLove.

 Man. I don't even know.  


I'm so sick of pretending everything's fine at home.

Oh man, oh man. So, like, starting off with bad news, I was involved with a minor car accident, scary, man. I'm okay, though. unharmed, expect for the pain in my foot for stomping on the break so hard, and a stress headache.  But, don't be worried, people...person ( seeing how only one person will probably see this. xD )

On another note, I've gotten love confessions from rejects. Like, man, ew. They aren't even beautiful. No, they're gross. Get yo' internet lips away from mine.

Just a reminder to people who've forgotten, I still adore and idolize Gwen Stefani. =D -loyal fan.-

In case anyone was dying to know, 'cause well, it's really important;  I really want hair like Gwen's. I'll try when I'm 30.


Uhm, well, good news...is that...I'm still hanging on in college. getting my masters in sociology.  Whoo!!


Okay, I'm done. Bye.  

                                                    


                          I am so tired.  Not just like I want to sleep tired.
                         I'm exhausted emotionally and phsycially, I guess.
                          I think my pain this winter has taken it's toll on me.
                          I always feel so weak when this happens and kind of sad.
                         I wish so badly that my prince charming would come out of hiding,
                          I really wanna be embraced by someone and dearly loved.
                           who is ever going to find me attractive when i'm like this? 
                                                       It's such a turn off.
                                                        








                                             I guess I'll feel better later. I miss Nessa, she'd talk about that stuff with me.

I'm going to the emergency room.

I love you.

I don't remember feeling so low in a while. Haha, Wow. this is...not new. I can't believe it. No, wait, I can.

Karma. I believe in it. Do you? Infact, I believe it's happening now.


I'm still single and I feel ready for a lover. Sometimes, the feeling of wanting one becomes a stinging feeling and completely fouls my mood. I've had such bad expirences. My heart hurts and it wants someone nice to it.

I don't trust people. Least of all trust them with myself. It's better to learn that no one is trustable and to protect yourself best in the best interest.


I have guilt thats eatting me inside out and it's not cool.


My worst fear is annoying my friends. But, sadly, I don't trust them sometimes which hurts my poor bandaged heart evern more.



I've grown cold towards the world and it's people, I know.


If anyone was to like me out there in "that way". I honestly would not understand why.

Grr. I feel annoyed. Why? I wish I knew.

-sigh.-

I feel so accomplished! I found the rest of the series to Shamanic Princess! I remember seeing it when I was really young, but I didn't really understand it, but it looked so cool! So, I'm like "Yeah, I could probably get it now of days" and crap. So, I'm...happy..;_;

Yo.
Wonder Girl, anyone?

You scored as Wonder Girl. Cassie Sandsmark is wonder Woman's protege. She used to wear a black wig to hide her identity but abandoned it when her secret came out. Like Diana, she fights for truth and also carries a lasso, a gift from the gos of war, Ares. Although initially jealous of Superboy's lady friends, she is now dating him. Wonder Girl 75% Black Canary 71% Faith 67% Big Barda 63% Hawkgirl 58% Huntress 54% Supergirl 54% Power Girl 50% Starfire 42% Catwoman 42% Spoiler 38% Wonder Woman 38% Batgirl 38% Raven 29% What DC Super Heroine are you? created with QuizFarm.com

                                          

            So, I bet a lot of people are wondering "Where did Vi go??"

             You might have noticed that I haven't been online in a long, long time.    

             I've decided that I want to get away from the internet. I'm seventeen and going off to college.

             I don't want to feel attached to here again. I finally feel really free for the first time. I feel like I don't have to worry about the drama on here. I feel good about it.
              
             I just dropped people, I know. But, I don't know anymore about people on here.

             I had enough of things on here. The lies, the broken promises, the abusive situations, the clingy-ness.
            
             You see, I don't have problems at home. I have muscular dystrophy and I get sick easy. No big problem. But, I'm not like my mom, I am not a counselor. I can't help with people's problems. A long time ago, I decided to stop involving myself in problems, because I really don't want to make it worse. I know it can help people to have an ear. But, I don't want to be that ear anymore. It makes me feel  bad inside and I get depressed easy.

            Not everyone is like that, and I'm happy for you. I still want to get away.

           I don't REALLY know people on here. I MOST likely won't see you.

          I'll be on some days. I'll be happy to talk to you.

          I've gotten all my grades up to A's and B's and I'm keeping it.That is a first. I'm going off to college. It's really exciting. I can't wait, it's like, I'm finally growing up. I've moved on to the next step.

          I believe everyone who feels they can't live without the internet will one day be tired of it and move on. It's what a lot of my friends have done and I finally understand now.
                 
            
             People will feel betrayed by this. I'm sorry. I am.



Farewell, Everyone.

Love,


          Victoria.