yep, the title says it all.

As our President says; Happy Holidays.

( Return of the Survey.  ) </div>

can I get a "What? what?" Nah, seriously! it's an exciting thing!

Much love to my idol.

I can't fucking sleep.

I'd die without music.

.........You would have never  ran away, right?

oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. 

Hi. -heart.-

 

Whew. Okay. Wow. What. The. Fuck.


 I hear it all the time. "Wow, you're beautiful." 

That's a lie.
 
I hear that I have a great personality.

That's also a lie.

People lie.

'cause if that was true, i wouldn't have been rejected six times now, would have I? Goddamn liars. 

I feel used. Hurt. Thanks. 

I thought it would be safer, but I guess not. I feel so empty. what the hell? I wish someone would tell me what i'm doing wrong. 

So, I'm liked, right? I like the person back. Okay, great. what do we do? We stare at each other? Mess around? Do nothing? Go out? Yeah, i think that might be a good idea. :D 

Yeah. Fuck. No. 

Reeeejection.


Why can't someone want to be with me? What's wrong here? I thought i could numb out the pain, but i was kind of surprized, and blown away and really, really hurt. 

I'll be okay again.  My lights are flickering. Think it's some sort of sign? Why am I so stupid? 


What I hate most is that all my security with him is gone. He's trying to proctect himself. And even if it wasn't a direction rejection, the fact that he couldn't take it at first, was enough to make me skitter away. I'm so confused. and hurt. Is this all i'm worth? 

How could I ever think that i'm dateable?

HeartheartheartLove.

 Man. I don't even know.  


I'm so sick of pretending everything's fine at home.

Oh man, oh man. So, like, starting off with bad news, I was involved with a minor car accident, scary, man. I'm okay, though. unharmed, expect for the pain in my foot for stomping on the break so hard, and a stress headache.  But, don't be worried, people...person ( seeing how only one person will probably see this. xD )

On another note, I've gotten love confessions from rejects. Like, man, ew. They aren't even beautiful. No, they're gross. Get yo' internet lips away from mine.

Just a reminder to people who've forgotten, I still adore and idolize Gwen Stefani. =D -loyal fan.-

In case anyone was dying to know, 'cause well, it's really important;  I really want hair like Gwen's. I'll try when I'm 30.


Uhm, well, good news...is that...I'm still hanging on in college. getting my masters in sociology.  Whoo!!


Okay, I'm done. Bye.  

                                                    


                          I am so tired.  Not just like I want to sleep tired.
                         I'm exhausted emotionally and phsycially, I guess.
                          I think my pain this winter has taken it's toll on me.
                          I always feel so weak when this happens and kind of sad.
                         I wish so badly that my prince charming would come out of hiding,
                          I really wanna be embraced by someone and dearly loved.
                           who is ever going to find me attractive when i'm like this? 
                                                       It's such a turn off.
                                                        








                                             I guess I'll feel better later. I miss Nessa, she'd talk about that stuff with me.

I'm going to the emergency room.

I love you.

I don't remember feeling so low in a while. Haha, Wow. this is...not new. I can't believe it. No, wait, I can.

Karma. I believe in it. Do you? Infact, I believe it's happening now.


I'm still single and I feel ready for a lover. Sometimes, the feeling of wanting one becomes a stinging feeling and completely fouls my mood. I've had such bad expirences. My heart hurts and it wants someone nice to it.

I don't trust people. Least of all trust them with myself. It's better to learn that no one is trustable and to protect yourself best in the best interest.


I have guilt thats eatting me inside out and it's not cool.


My worst fear is annoying my friends. But, sadly, I don't trust them sometimes which hurts my poor bandaged heart evern more.



I've grown cold towards the world and it's people, I know.


If anyone was to like me out there in "that way". I honestly would not understand why.

Grr. I feel annoyed. Why? I wish I knew.

-sigh.-